My first career was as a music teacher – Pre-K – 5th grade vocal music and 5th – 12th grade instrumental music. I was skilled at helping my elementary students create beautiful music for their concerts which could move the audience to tears and facilitating the development of individual progress on my older students’ instruments of choice, but I did not have passion for my craft and only lasted nine years.
I should point out that I would not have been in the field for that long had I remained in the public-school system. For dual reasons, I found myself seeking employment elsewhere after one year. First, with no emotional or intellectual preparation for what I was to face, I was offered and accepted a job in an inner-city school system. I was far too ignorant and naïve about cultural differences to find a way towards success there. Many years later my eyes were opened when I attended a lecture by Carl Upchurch at Chautauqua Institution and subsequently read his book, Convicted in the Womb.
The second reason I found myself feverishly looking for another job after one year was the mandated music curriculum which only resulted in children’s resentment of music. Filling lesson plans out in triplicate which necessitated pressing hard enough to penetrate 5 sheets (yes, this was way before technology!), and teaching “by the book,” was never going to work for me or my students. The best part of that year was when I chose to ignore administrative requirements and taught the newly released, “My Hometown,” to all students in every grade. Thank you, Bruce Springsteen, for creating some joy for us during my one year in public school in 1984.
I followed that year with a new job which I began to love. I was in a private school with small class size and a curriculum which, as the respected professional in my field, I was able to develop. I was extremely proud of a music history course I created and taught in the high school which I entitled, “Evolution of Music.” It was exciting to open students ears and minds to the vastness of orchestral, operatic, and Broadway music throughout the ages. Myself having only been trained in classical music, they, in turn, opened my ears and mind to the likes of Yes, Pink Floyd, and INXS.
As I moved through the years as a music teacher, my own evolution was taking place. I came to the realization that the only thing I enjoyed in my job was the conversations I was having with students. My work with elementary school students became less about music and more about the meaning of lyrics and life lessons the words could impart. I struggled with what was happening for a couple of years until I made a decision to change course, resign from my job, and pursue a Masters Degree in School Counseling.
I was excited with this career choice because, while I knew I no longer wanted to teach music, I also knew I loved every minute of any conversation I had with the children whom I taught. What a privilege it would be to work in a school with the sole purpose of helping children and families. I shed bittersweet tears when I left my music teaching job because I loved my students and colleagues, but I felt joy thinking about a future doing something for which I felt passionate.
I had become a music teacher because I excelled at music all my life – it was not a choice made out of desire; it was a choice made because it was something for which I received numerous accolades. It was the only aspect in my life about which I felt confident so I foreclosed on the decision at a young age. All I really wanted to do was what I am doing at this moment – write. Before I could get to a place in life where I had confidence to pursue my first love, I was happy to follow my new dream of becoming an elementary school counselor.